First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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