I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize