bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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