sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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