i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
