I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
This house was built for laser tag.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Blood and glitter go together right?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize