im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
