No stitches, just platelets and will power
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
