She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
