This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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