Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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