I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
