WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
