Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
