Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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