you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
