Non-Jews are for practice
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
