ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
