in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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