that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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