i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
