Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
