good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
