I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
