Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
