O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
