We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
