i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I see more hoeing in ur future
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