I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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