Do you still have your period?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
