you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
