That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
