Your tits are I can't wait for
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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