even my farts smell like vagina
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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