so that wasnt chicken after all
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
