i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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