I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
