I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
