i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
