everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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