Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
