I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
