I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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