Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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