ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize
