I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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