It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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