i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
They took my balls.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
