What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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