ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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