I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
