I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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