just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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