My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
