I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
