Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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