I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
