you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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