she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i came on her dog
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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