You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
