I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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