I will die if light touches me.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
