doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
