i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
