He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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