i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
